A blog about why I’ve been finding it difficult to blog lately
For the last year or so Carl and I have been digging into a personality archetype system called The Enneagram (Carl in particular has been getting prettttty into it, so apologies to our friends and family who have already been hammered with his robust analysis. Soz that you have to read more about it here).
Similar to Myers-Briggs, the enneagram a useful tool for understanding your own behaviour and motivations, as well as those of humans you love. What we like about the Enneagram is that it is very dynamic – looking at the ways we act in states of emotional, mental and spiritual health (and lack thereof) and therefore serving as a catalyst for transformation and growth if you’re willing to do the work.
I’m an enneagram Type 4 – sometimes known as The Individual, Unique One, Hopeless Romantic or Tortured Artist (flattering, I know). For Fours, our deepest desire is to be seen and understood for who we truly, uniquely are. Authenticity is our number one value. Which brings me to why I’ve been finding it difficult to blog.
Carl and I have been travelling and staying in some pretty beautiful places this winter:
- Poatina and Blackwood Creek
- Bicheno (where we’re hoping to live one day soon)
- Cradle Mountain (more on that soon)
- The NSW South Coast – Eden, Pambula and Narooma
- The Woronora River (looking after Carl’s Nanna)
- Forster (housesitting for Carl’s parents)
- Nelson Bay (where we are currently housesitting and looking after a very cute doggo named Maggie)
- Next month we’ll be housesitting in Melbourne and then back to Tassie.
The thing is, while I am honestly, deeply, overwhelmingly grateful for the beautiful, simple life we are carving out for ourselves (she types from a seaside café where she’s set up office for the day), I’ve discovered through this process I’m not really a travel blogger. While I can tell you the best spots to park your van, swim, walk and eat in all of the places listed above (trust me, I get super obsessed with gathering local knowledge wherever we go), I don’t really feel motivated to write about these things (though please feel free to ask me about any of these locations – I’d love to share my research). It’s also why I’m a bit crap at Instagram.
As I’ve mentioned here before, most of our days are spent doing slow, quiet things like walking, swimming, yoga, eating healthy food, contemplative prayer and meditation and a bit of client work thrown in for good measure (a lifestyle that some high-energy Sydney-siders may find a wee bit boring). Since authenticity matters so very much to me, I want to blog about the things that matter to me the most and feel kind of inauthentic writing about the pretty places we visit (and inadvertently making our lifestyle seem more exciting than it really is) and leaving out the big reason we’ve flown (driven) north for the winter. So I just don’t.
So, in the spirit of authentic vulnerability, here it is: Some of you are aware that Carl and I have been working through unexplained infertility for the past few years and that we came to the mainland for our first round of IVF with our specialist in Sydney. While I’ve managed to not let it engulf or consume me (which can be tricky for Fours who can be painfully aware of a feeling of lack), it is something that’s obviously added quite a lot of stress and sadness to our lives.
As it’s also a pretty personal and private thing, I’m cautious to dive into it on the very public forum that is the interwebs, but I’m hoping that by putting these honest things out there, I might break through my ‘Tortured Artist’ writer’s block (dramatic sigh) and get back to writing regular weekly content – which is the goal I set myself when I launched out on this Year of Simplicity, for which I am heartachingly grateful.
I hope you’ll stick with me as I try to get back on schedule. This Four thanks you for letting me indulge in this somewhat one-sided conversation. Please leave me a comment so that feels it’s less so.
Do you know your Enneagram Type? Tell me in the comments below. If you’d like to learn more, I found the Know your Type and Enneagram Personality Test apps super helpful.
Beautiful brave words. Authenticity is so attractive. We love you guys heaps and are praying for you (really). I love your recommendations because you guys know what food is the best and we all share the love for aqua water too! I think we all worked out which number Tom and I are, but I’ll have to look over the summaries again to remember!
Thanks Claire. Have you had a chance to go back over the enneagram summaries yet? The Know Your Type app is really easy to navigate. Let me know if you’re planning to visit any of the places I’ve listed and I’ll give you my tips 😉 Love to you and Tommy. x
Love you guys and your authenticity and honesty. Thanks for being vulnerable. Praying for you both as you journey through this.
Thanks Kate. Really appreciate your praying heart. x
Love ya Tabs. Xxx
Right back at ya lady! xx
Praying for you guys! ❤️
Love reading your blogs!
Thanks Nat. Appreciate the prayers and encouragement. x
Love your honesty Tab, thank you for sharing such a personal issue. Praying for God’s blessing on you both as you go on this journey xx
Thanks Michelle. So nice to hear from you ! x
Love this one. Thanks for your authenticity. I know you probably have but have you listened to the liturgists stuff on the enneagram?
I sure have!! Typology is another good’n. Do you know your type?
Super authentic. Super courageous. Loving your Type 4 tortured artist 🤣. Don’t think I would have guessed it.
Haha. Yes I try to keep a lid on the drama – especially in work settings when I lean heavily on my three wing (known as The Achiever). P.S. Thanks for the into to Isi. We had a great time at the Create conference this past few days.
Sending love and strength through what is a hugely emotional journey.
Thanks lady. From my heart to yours.
Authenticity and vulnerability. Two words I remember thinking about you when we first met, which led you down the brene brown garden path. And I love you. Know how hard this would have been to put out there. Love you both. Hope it frees the block!!!
Ps omg CUTE DOGGIE!!!
I remember that convo at dully train station so well. A moment that epitomised the friendship to come!! P.S. am getting a dog at the first possible moment.
Love you guys and thank you for this post. Can’t wait to have you as temporary neighbours soon, I’m hoping for lots of cups of tea and opportunities to debrief my newly claimed “one-ness” (i.e. enneagram 1, not 6 as previously thought 😉)
Xx
Can’t wait to tea with you, Jules!! Love me a good One. Carl’s one (One) too!
I’m sorry to hear about the struggle. It’s a heavy weight to carry amidst the simplicity. I hope you’re feeling well-supported and very loved.
As for the Enneagram, I’m a 1, and my husband’s a 9, although I’ve realised this year that I think I have a 9 wing and he has a 1 wing, so we’re focusing on those similarities lately rather than the differences (which has helped our relationship a lot!). Thanks for the insight into being a 4.
Thanks Annelise. So nice to have you visit my blog after visiting yours often. Carl is also a One, though he has a Two wing. Interesting how you and Alan are mirroring each other in that way. I find it most fascinating as a tool for growth in relationships – especially if you let the hard stuff become a tool for growth. “The wound becomes the gift”is my very favourite (most fourish) quote.
Thank you for talking about what many do not. Love being sent to both of you. X KIN.
Thank you beautiful kinfolk! x
Dear Brave Popett,
I admire you so much and I hope revealing more of yourself pays off with blog block. Love you SO much,
Mum
Thanks mama. xxx
P.S. Blog block. Funny!
Authenticity, honesty and courage, you smash all 3 my beautiful four. I pray for your journey often, love you.
Thank you Ellie. Your comment made me feel warm in the hearty bits!
Love the realness of this Tab, there’s not enough real and raw, it’s covered up. You do you lady x
Thank you Leah!
You have such a beautiful soul, even since I knew you at school alllll those years ago. I wish you guys all the best and hope things work out the way you wish them too x
Thank you Catherine. Lovely of you to reach out!
I loves you. And I loves this blog. Thank you my dear little gazelle.
I loves you.
I would rather read one blog of authentic, raw, vulnerable you a year than 60 of you pretending to enjoy writing about what you had for breakfast. I can’t write for pleasure anything that doesn’t make me feel, doesn’t have me turn over words and feelings like carefully chosen pebbles. Maybe it’s when we both write for work, the time in pleasurable writing can’t be wasted on the same sort of topic that you have a lack of connection to? It reminds us too much of writing for profit? Not sure. I go through the same exact arid spells.
Hugs and prayers for your emotional time. Write what you need to, not what you feel you ought. You’ll know.
Thank you, Philippa. High praise coming from you. So weird, but the turning over of pebbles is exactly how I describe my approach to my craft. Did I read it somewhere way back when??? Agree that the writing for work thing makes things muddled. Thanks for making me feel seen and understood.
Thank you for this Tabitha ❤️
Thank YOU, beauty. x
You two are beautiful people and loved by us and many.
God knows your needs and cares for you deeply.
We hold you in our prayers
And as Gran would say “God Bless”💖
Thank you Aunty Julie. Do you think Maggie feels famous now she’s been featured in my blog??? xx
Lots of astounding beauty and open-heart mining, my lovely sis-in-law. You e jumped right over that boulder of talking-fertility, turning the futility into fruitfulness. Nice one. Loves youse guys
Thank you my brother. xxxx
Love you guys lots….even if its not so often i’m always encouraged and feel a warmth with you both! Blessings
We love you too, Jono. You feel (and look) like a brother to me, Wanna come to Nelson’s Bay for an artist’s retreat??
Thanks for your sharing, appreciate it. What a journey of contrasts! Inner journey and outer journey. Our love and prayers are with you
Thanks my friend. See you back in Poa soon!!
Just been learning about my tendency to being a 4 across the last year. Please know that your are your lad are fondly remembered and heartily cheered on in your journey. Hope to see you some time during your Melbourne visit. Take care. J
Thank you John!! We hope to see you in Melbourne. We’re staying in Footscray, is that anywhere near you? Maybe you’ll come along to Carl’s workshop!? If not, Faith and the Arts!?!
Tab, you are one of the strongest women I know. You may not feel it sometimes – but you have a tremendous inner strength; your willingness to lay yourself bare in this blog shows that. I’ve seen you be conflicted by having a ‘commercial’ purpose instead of a higher one and you’re at your best when you write with your heart (and your’s is the size of a cabbage). Write on, my lovely.
Aw Paul, you big softie. Thank you for those lovely words, Appreciated you be being there for me in the office the other day. It’s especially hard for me to talk about these things in a work context. Means a lot!
Appreciate your honesty, you are a special couple 😍
From Uncle Tim & Aunty Judy 😉😘
Aw thanks Aunty Judy and Uncle Tim. Sad to not be seeing you at conference this year!
You guys are beautiful, love your blogs and photos, praying Xx
Thanks lovely Johanna!
Thanks for sharing so bravely (I prob wouldn’t read them if it was all shallow). Praying blessings over you! I downloaded the test app to help me clarify my number and now I’m so confused – Also thought I was a 6 with 7 wing, but maybe I’m not!?! More processing to be done.
Thanks Kim. Appreciate it. If you’re confused about numbers, the enneagram institute website and the Know Your Type app have some good comparison resources. Carl often advises people to look at the core motivators and core fears for the different types. Unlike other archetypes, the enneagram is more about the motivation behind behaviour rather than the behaviour itself. It’s possible for two different types to act in similar ways but with different motivations. Keep digging and it will become clear. Took me ages (and a lot of reading about the nuances of the wings) to identify my type.
Thanks Tabitha for having the courage to be vulnerable, not an easy thing. Love to you both as you negotiate the journey. If you can write that in one sitting at the cafe, then the unblocking has already started.
Thanks Di. I think you’re probably right. See you back there next month. x