A blog about why I’ve been finding it difficult to blog lately
For the last year or so Carl and I have been digging into a personality archetype system called The Enneagram (Carl in particular has been getting prettttty into it, so apologies to our friends and family who have already been hammered with his robust analysis. Soz that you have to read more about it here).
Similar to Myers-Briggs, the enneagram a useful tool for understanding your own behaviour and motivations, as well as those of humans you love. What we like about the Enneagram is that it is very dynamic – looking at the ways we act in states of emotional, mental and spiritual health (and lack thereof) and therefore serving as a catalyst for transformation and growth if you’re willing to do the work.
I’m an enneagram Type 4 – sometimes known as The Individual, Unique One, Hopeless Romantic or Tortured Artist (flattering, I know). For Fours, our deepest desire is to be seen and understood for who we truly, uniquely are. Authenticity is our number one value. Which brings me to why I’ve been finding it difficult to blog.
Carl and I have been travelling and staying in some pretty beautiful places this winter:
- Poatina and Blackwood Creek
- Bicheno (where we’re hoping to live one day soon)
- Cradle Mountain (more on that soon)
- The NSW South Coast – Eden, Pambula and Narooma
- The Woronora River (looking after Carl’s Nanna)
- Forster (housesitting for Carl’s parents)
- Nelson Bay (where we are currently housesitting and looking after a very cute doggo named Maggie)
- Next month we’ll be housesitting in Melbourne and then back to Tassie.
The thing is, while I am honestly, deeply, overwhelmingly grateful for the beautiful, simple life we are carving out for ourselves (she types from a seaside café where she’s set up office for the day), I’ve discovered through this process I’m not really a travel blogger. While I can tell you the best spots to park your van, swim, walk and eat in all of the places listed above (trust me, I get super obsessed with gathering local knowledge wherever we go), I don’t really feel motivated to write about these things (though please feel free to ask me about any of these locations – I’d love to share my research). It’s also why I’m a bit crap at Instagram.
As I’ve mentioned here before, most of our days are spent doing slow, quiet things like walking, swimming, yoga, eating healthy food, contemplative prayer and meditation and a bit of client work thrown in for good measure (a lifestyle that some high-energy Sydney-siders may find a wee bit boring). Since authenticity matters so very much to me, I want to blog about the things that matter to me the most and feel kind of inauthentic writing about the pretty places we visit (and inadvertently making our lifestyle seem more exciting than it really is) and leaving out the big reason we’ve flown (driven) north for the winter. So I just don’t.
So, in the spirit of authentic vulnerability, here it is: Some of you are aware that Carl and I have been working through unexplained infertility for the past few years and that we came to the mainland for our first round of IVF with our specialist in Sydney. While I’ve managed to not let it engulf or consume me (which can be tricky for Fours who can be painfully aware of a feeling of lack), it is something that’s obviously added quite a lot of stress and sadness to our lives.
As it’s also a pretty personal and private thing, I’m cautious to dive into it on the very public forum that is the interwebs, but I’m hoping that by putting these honest things out there, I might break through my ‘Tortured Artist’ writer’s block (dramatic sigh) and get back to writing regular weekly content – which is the goal I set myself when I launched out on this Year of Simplicity, for which I am heartachingly grateful.
I hope you’ll stick with me as I try to get back on schedule. This Four thanks you for letting me indulge in this somewhat one-sided conversation. Please leave me a comment so that feels it’s less so.